All songs copyleft Walter Holstad and yet to be written. Beginning work on lyrics, some may be instrumental. This is what I have learned through my experiences over the past few months after getting arrested for OWI(2), entering counseling, and spending days in jail on two separate occasions, losing my license for a year ( including my occupational license for 45 days ), and now having to get a breathalyzer installed on my vehicle for 12 months as well.
I like science and art. I like to read non-fiction and I like music and writing. When I was growing up around age 8 I remember wanting to be a scientist. I liked computers too. I was never able to progress as far in science or computers as far as I would have liked to. My chemistry teacher in high school Sophomore year maybe sensed that when he forced me to put my science project in the school science fair which I grudgingly did but by then I was too far gone. My confidence and work ethic were severely dashed.
Lately I have been given some second opportunities in some regards and I feel like I have been able to reclaim some of that lost enthusiasm and curiosity for science. My first time around in college there were too many distractions and I didn’t really have a sense of direction or purpose. In my early twenties I got into financial trouble and that seemed to take over and be the theme of my life for the next decade or so. Self-esteem dwindled. I didn’t want to take on any more debt to go back to school and probably fail at it again anyway but when my grandma passed and left me some money it gave me a chance to go back to school without having to incur more debt. So I did and got a technical diploma in web design from Milwaukee Area Technical College and that has been enough to give me a leg up so far and give me a start at some fun things to work on and build on.
This has been the year of reduced freedoms. I use that word with hesitation because we are limited by the limitations of our human society of which we are a part.
Reduced driving privileges.
Two days in jail in June.
Four days in jail in October.
Both stays related to the same offense. Now the reduced privileges are ongoing for almost a year. I can get my regular driving privileges back on July 24th and the breathalyzer removed from my car probably next November.
However altering our lifestyle and making some changes in our life can be a good thing. Perhaps we are missing out on what might be by being stuck within our own present reality.
Perhaps to be free we must learn from captivity.
So release is important everyday I guess, not just on our release date.
Release from stress.
Release from old routines.
Breaking habits and seeing if new behaviors ensue.
May we all get by at the very least and continue to make positive changes in our lives and experience positive things, and affect others in positive ways.
My release date is October 24th. At least then I will be able to go where I want to go and not be confined to my apartment, my work-place, and Wednesday night counseling group sessions, which allowed me to get a jog in in order to get there without driving my car which is just sitting in the parking lot and hopefully not seizing up.
Pushed back, takin on debt
Didn’t even know that I could get credit cards.
Money was tight before
Now it is even more
Hopefully I can handle everything that is in store
I was meant to be free.
But a martyr unfortunately.
Have I suffered enough for me to let me be.
The extreme left wants everybody to have healthcare or maybe wants us all to be nearly equal.
The extreme right wants people to die if they can’t afford health care or food for that matter. Because everything is perfectly fairly doled out according to what each deserves, nobody is overpaid or underpaid. Everybody gets exactly what they earned and deserve. So if you’re poor you should suffer. You made your bed, sleep in it. What a horrible ideology and belief system.