Do not get me wrong it was a bad situation
Now I must be strong it was a bad situation
So they let me go well at least I’m on vacation
Freedom, peace of mind, and a little meditation
Cannot tolerate abuse
So they must cut me loose
Cannot handle the truth
So fuck it all what’s the use?
People they come to me
With other opportunities
To be who I want to be
Use my creativity
Positive I will think
Ignoring that I’m on the brink
Change can take some time
Retain my peace of mind
So they let me go it was a bad situation
Rocked me to and fro’ it was a bad situation
Kicked me out the do’ a step in the right direction
Won’t see them no mo’ it was a bad situation
The Meaning of Life. Right and Wrong.
We live in a dream.
An ethereal place.
A mysterious orb.
Floating in space.
Fish in the sea.
Do not notice the water.
Nor do we see.
The space we are under.
We have the capacity.
For right and wrong.
Which hints there is meaning.
In life to belong.
A judgement is coming.
Religion would have us.
Believe at the end.
It will be upon us.
Perhaps there is truth.
To this concept, this vision.
That when we are gone.
It will be unhidden.
Sometimes I think that life is just a dream
Some day we’ll wake up and wonder what it meant
All the time we have spent wondering wandering
Where it went..
Do we remain intact after we die
Or go back into the energy pool there to reside
Perhaps to emerge in another incarnation
Or maybe remain ethereal in a spiritual domain
Our consciousness we retain?
Or are we just integrated back into the pool of life?
All the energy in the universe of which we are a part
From whence we came
The physical from the spiritual
The essence of existence.
If there is a doctrine to describe our society, perhaps more than Capitalism it is Isolationism.
We keep apart from each other, keep people at a distance.
We live in houses, homes, and apart-ments.
We come up with any possible excuse to ostracize people and send them off to be apart from us in their own tiny cell.
And then when they return we keep them apart by imposing restrictions on their work options, thereby limiting their financial capabilities and giving people a reason to look down on them and distance themselves from them. People just become extensions of society’s criminal justice system and they probably don’t realize it and you can’t blame them I guess but I find it kind of disgusting.
I feel kind of unique in this. Maybe it’s me and another 15% of society or so who sort of look back at society in disgust.
Why do we come up with every excuse to put distance between each other.
We build this impressive peak for everybody to climb and then the ones who make it to the top look down at all the others from their peak of righteousness and laugh and ridicule the others that were unable to attain their greatness. It’s sadistic.
It has been done intentionally
People have created an Isolationist world,
Instead of an inclusive one.
My Life On Display part I (Always Trying to Improve)
All around me are influences bad. Heavy drinkers, pot smokers, and hopefully not worse. One lady who I have heard was using crack has been evicted. I have told myself I won’t hang out with the neighbors outside so much because it sometimes leads to me drinking too much. If I drink too much I don’t get a good early start the next day, I wind up laying in bed all morning, which lately I am generally apt to do regardless. If I don’t have something to get up and do it seems I can lay in bed almost indefinitely. Okay that’s a slight exaggeration, I am usually up by 10:30am or 11:00am.
I have been pretty good but I occasionally have my off days and those are no longer acceptable because the consequences are too great. If I drink too much it, honestly, makes me gassy and I have to spend a lot of time in the bathroom so that I don’t feel like I am gassing up the place whereever I am. I may post this on my blog so I have to sensor it because I don’t know who could read it. Suffice it to say that I am having a difficult time that could maybe partially have been avoided but we cannot go backward and change the past, we can only do better in the present so that the future is better, which is what I am focusing on.
I have always been a big reader. I have cut down on drinking a lot. I generally have a more active and responsible lifestyle at present. I can read a book or read on the internet for hours and hours. My attention span can sometimes be short so the internet can be a great distraction and diversion. On the internet one can bounce around to the heart’s content. That’s why I am taking notes on things I want to research and look up so that I can focus and be more direct in my online time. I also have projects to work on such as an inventory management program for www.ahelpinghandwithrecovery.org. I am a big reader but I am learning to be more focused as well.
A friend once told me that youth is wasted on the young and with me anyways it was very true. By the time I matured and learned to be more focused and responsible a lot of life has passed me by but there is plenty more ahead and hopefully there was enough positivity interspersed with the not-so-great happenings that altogether it was worthwhile. I believe it was. I have always found time for ample reading and contemplation which I enjoy. I am now learning to focus on the positive and not get distracted by folly, by discussions that sap your energy and provide little actual benefit in any tangible way.
I’ve got a bike. I went for a bike ride the last couple of days and it was great. I enjoy walking, sometimes running, and I enjoy biking. The more I do it the easier it gets and the more fun it is. I like for things to seem like fun and not a chore. I am generally not a masochist although I do have a tendency towards melancholy at times. I used to be an incredible narcissist but I have learned and taught myself to grow out of that. I used to run occasionally and have always been a heavy biker and I have been getting more exercise of late which is great.
It being Sunday not much of event is likely to happen today but Monday brings hope and promise of better days to come.
Synchronicities Bizarre Luck and Coincidences too bizarre to be luck or coincidence.
This is uncanny and hopefully typing it out won’t jinx it.
My car waited to break down until I was somewhere people could help me.
I had my car fixed last Saturday, 6 days ago, today being Friday. I drove all week to the store and such, not a ton of driving but some. Today I drove all the way to the Ignition Interlock place to get my Interlock device reset since they unplugged the battery when they worked on my car and cutting power to the device required my coming in to have the 7 day lockout code taken off.
I pulled in to the workshop area and as I rolled in I shut off the car and coasted to a stop. The lady there asked me to turn the key to turn the power on again and the whole system was dead, no power at all.
Once the technician guy was available he looked at it for me and the battery terminals were stripped. Somehow I drove around with stripped battery terminals all week and never had any problems until I rolled in to the ingnition place and stopped. It could have happened on the way over or any of the other times I’ve driven to the store or whatnot since Saturday but I made it all the way in to these peoples’ shop and then it died.
They were able to drive me to Farm and Fleet to get a new battery and the technician guy for the interlock place installed the battery for me which was excellent especially because I hate getting dirty.
So they helped me out and I bought a battery for $68 dollars that I can’t really afford but had it happened a couple blocks earlier I would have been stuck on the street and had to get a tow not knowing the battery was the issue.
To me that’s pretty uncanny luck so I’m calling it a Synchronicity which I believe Jung coined the term having to do with uncanny coincidences and luck of that nature. A little too strange to be pure luck or not but just seems so, who knows?
There is not enough trust and goodwill in human society especially among the political class.
Why do we need to carefully account for each penny made, earned, spent, exchanged? At some point does it not become arbitrary? A person who makes millions of dollars and we keep track of every penny seems arbitrary. Do they deserve exactly $10 million or maybe 8 million 3 hundred 72 thousand? It seems arbitrary. Especially when the numbers get that big does it even matter any more?
Why are some people so worried about food stamps and welfare?
I think we need a fundamental shift in priorities. I mean it may be possible to make the current system work but we could also try a different approach.
A certain level of subsistence guaranteed. Food, housing of some sort, clothing, etc.
Why? For one thing it is much more sustainable for somebody to stay at home and be less active driving around, eating out for lunch, shopping etc. than it is to have everybody working constantly everyday. So while people may be jealous which is why they are so intent on forcing everybody to work because they must hate their jobs and they want everybody to suffer not just themselves unless you have somehow “earned” this life of luxury or someone in your family has “earned” it for you.
I mean I think people should just relax. Don’t worry about what everybody else is doing so much. So what if some people are working a job everyday. I always felt like when I was unemployed, riding my bike around, cooking modest meals at home, I was doing society a favor really. That’s an incredibly green lifestyle. I wasn’t driving to work everyday and using the amount of resources that a working life requires. I was living resourcefully on as little as possible which is commendable I think and perhaps we should encourage or reward such behavior instead of ridiculing and discouraging it. This would be a start to combating global warming and excessive use of energy and resources.
It’s just that I think we should challenge the selfish, conceited, norms of society. That mean-spirited assertion that you must work for what you have which implies that most people aren’t working or don’t want to work which I think is false. People want to be productive members of society and are when given the chance. Also a lot of things people do are very productive and important but they get no recompense for it. One such thing would be cleaning a street corner say. Many would be super inclined to help out wherever needed if there was some way to get recompense for it. If there was a general subsistence living allotment people might be inclined to do things of that nature just out of the goodness of their hearts and to be members of society which is providing them the livelihood and the flexibility to do such things in their spare time. Give people a little freedom and time to do some good and people may be surprised instead now where we try to make life as difficult as possible for the poor and we have all these accusations hurled at them from certain segments of the political elite.
pyrex bowl with 1/4 cup or so olive oil
add about an inch or two water level of water
add some rice – this time I used presoaked brown rice, lentils, and wild rice mix
add some chopped potatoes
add some chopped broccoli
cover Pyrex bowl with lid
Now you are ready to bake! Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 30 to 40 minutes. You can shut the oven off near the end and just use the residual heat as the oven will stay warm and the contents of the Pyrex bowl will stay warm as well.
You can mash the contents to create a sort of mashed potato dish that has rice, broccoli, and whatever else you added. I forgot but I could have added chopped onions, hot pepper, green pepper, and so forth. Season to taste.
My Career Path
I have been temping for most of my adult career, perhaps the last 15 to 20 years for the most part. A friend of mine introduced me to the concept in my early 20s and I checked it out and never left the industry apart from brief hiatuses. Temping is convenient and allows you to build experience while offering the opportunity to gain experience with an employer and potentially to be hired on as a regular employee. Temping is not always the best way to go but it can be a quick and positive way to land a rewarding job quickly and gain some needed experience while building a career path.
I have a technical diploma in web design from matc ( milwaukee area technical college, December 2012. )
I have a lot of experience in accounting departments. I worked with Daymark Real Estate doing data entry, making check requests, preparing bank deposits, and other general administrative assistant type work. I also worked at Brookfield Woods Apartments in North Carolina which is an apartment complex they owned. I worked in the office taking phone calls, showing apartments, collecting rent payments, making bank deposits, entering data into Tenant Pro 6 real estate software, and so forth.
I like working on web design in my free time. It gives me a hobby to challenge my mind and continue to grow and development my skills with technology and my general intellect skills through the challenge it provides. I would like to get to a point where I felt relatively proficient with it but I would not say I am there just yet.
Presently I am searching for jobs in my normal career path of administrative, accounting, and/or purchasing roles. I am hoping to hear back about a job in purchasing as I type this. I guess I forgot to mention that I also worked with CarlisleIT in the purchasing department. Working in purchasing utilizes all of my skills from accounting and customer service to data entry and general software skills. I feel like I have been specially prepared for this type of endeavor with the path my career has taken and hope to land a job in this field or similar.
You pick up what you can from whatever sources you can.
The internet started to become big and I got into political forums.
One time someone said to me that when my life goes to hell, and it will, be man enough to lay in it, the pile of shit you created,* oh, the bed you’ve made, that was it. Something like that. While uncalled-for, there is probably some wisdom in there somewhere. Something I never heard from my father who died while I was a baby or I surely would have heard that from him.
We live in the world we live in, not the world we’d like to live in. I didn’t create the rules and I may not like them but I have to follow them, at least to a point. I can’t just rebel against anything and everything and expect to get by.
It became harder to get help from my mom, especially when her boyfriend moved in. Perhaps it was his influence on her a little bit; his more conservative influence. In the long-run I took what I could from that and learned to be more self-reliant and not to have my first thought be to ask my mother for help. Long over-due no doubt when this happened.
So life’s hard lessons come and go and you take from them what you can, life goes on and you learn. You may not learn things in the prescribed way, like me, but you can pick them up in the course of time wherever you can find them, leaving no stone un-turned. You learn what you can.