My Life On Display part I (Always Trying to Improve)
All around me are influences bad. Heavy drinkers, pot smokers, and hopefully not worse. One lady who I have heard was using crack has been evicted. I have told myself I won’t hang out with the neighbors outside so much because it sometimes leads to me drinking too much. If I drink too much I don’t get a good early start the next day, I wind up laying in bed all morning, which lately I am generally apt to do regardless. If I don’t have something to get up and do it seems I can lay in bed almost indefinitely. Okay that’s a slight exaggeration, I am usually up by 10:30am or 11:00am.
I have been pretty good but I occasionally have my off days and those are no longer acceptable because the consequences are too great. If I drink too much it, honestly, makes me gassy and I have to spend a lot of time in the bathroom so that I don’t feel like I am gassing up the place whereever I am. I may post this on my blog so I have to sensor it because I don’t know who could read it. Suffice it to say that I am having a difficult time that could maybe partially have been avoided but we cannot go backward and change the past, we can only do better in the present so that the future is better, which is what I am focusing on.
I have always been a big reader. I have cut down on drinking a lot. I generally have a more active and responsible lifestyle at present. I can read a book or read on the internet for hours and hours. My attention span can sometimes be short so the internet can be a great distraction and diversion. On the internet one can bounce around to the heart’s content. That’s why I am taking notes on things I want to research and look up so that I can focus and be more direct in my online time. I also have projects to work on such as an inventory management program for www.ahelpinghandwithrecovery.org. I am a big reader but I am learning to be more focused as well.
A friend once told me that youth is wasted on the young and with me anyways it was very true. By the time I matured and learned to be more focused and responsible a lot of life has passed me by but there is plenty more ahead and hopefully there was enough positivity interspersed with the not-so-great happenings that altogether it was worthwhile. I believe it was. I have always found time for ample reading and contemplation which I enjoy. I am now learning to focus on the positive and not get distracted by folly, by discussions that sap your energy and provide little actual benefit in any tangible way.
I’ve got a bike. I went for a bike ride the last couple of days and it was great. I enjoy walking, sometimes running, and I enjoy biking. The more I do it the easier it gets and the more fun it is. I like for things to seem like fun and not a chore. I am generally not a masochist although I do have a tendency towards melancholy at times. I used to be an incredible narcissist but I have learned and taught myself to grow out of that. I used to run occasionally and have always been a heavy biker and I have been getting more exercise of late which is great.
It being Sunday not much of event is likely to happen today but Monday brings hope and promise of better days to come.